Rain

Sometimes all you want is to be alone, but to feel that there is something around you, something of body and purpose to just fill the space between you and your surroundings. To be the entity surrounding you and encasing you from the world itself, adding a different dynamic, a different sound. When the rain falls you are never alone, to feel of its touch on your face, to witness its trail from beyond the front door, reaching into the tiles of home. The rain sits on the fence, it's not for you, or for the woman standing idle with no umbrella wishing she had watched the news, it is its own self, falling from greater heights than you can imagine because it simply has nowhere else to go but land onto the surface of each of our worlds, creating something that was never there before, that rippled reflection in the puddle that surrounds your feet, the unwavering path of its descent right before your eyes. Sometimes you need to walk alone yet still feel the interaction from something who isn't there, something that can be seen, heard and felt.
Often when indoors, when I hear the beating upon the floor, the ripples on the asphault, I throw on my biggest warmest coat, struggle into my wellington boots and stand amongst the tree's, just to hear something new, something other than traffic, music, people....but the melody and the rythmn of the rain cascading through the leaves above my head.
When it rains, the world changes. Conversation is sparked between strangers on a bus stop, "what awful weather we're having!" they'll say...but still.....friendships were made.
When it rains the world is kind, sharing the canopy of a nearby store, the free newspaper to cover your head from the man who saw you struggling to stay dry. People cram into stores, cafe's, museum's all to avoid the rain falling outside, but instead have been pushed into forcing bonds with one another, all sealed in the common enemy outside......the rain.
When raindrops fall there is always someone to talk to.
When raindrops fall there is always someone to listen to, and when raindrops fall....there is always something to feel...to aid in the struggle to feel alive.
When you next hear the beating upon empty cobble roads, throw on your biggest, warmest coat, struggle into your wellington boots.....and just listen.

A Tip For The Future...

'If I could offer you one tip for the future'..... My advice would be simply to follow your feet. When you come to a crossroads don't just stand at the pinpoint of decisions and second guessing, just begin to walk. Instead of undertaking the provoking surroundings of indecision and the so called 'advice' of people who have 'been there'...just put one foot in front of the other, and walk toward nothing. Disregard the aim, remove the goal, enjoy the journey.
We all have this mindset in which we must always be looking forward to our next destination, planning and ensuring our arrival to this future state. But in the savings and goal making...We forget to just look around, to stop and look at the flowers, discover the smells in the air of a new environment. To watch the trees as they dance in the wind, happily doing nothing but existing..until their time comes. Embrace the sun beating upon your shoulders as you progress further along the broken road, watch out for potholes but NEVER look back. When you look to the left and see a less travelled path leading to the place your heart desires....follow it.
Journey with the cracks in the sun soaked ground and discover. discover the sights you may never have seen otherwise. Meet the people, Laugh with the children, taste the hospitality of the inhabitants and the surroundings themselves. hear the wind that you never heard before because never before have you been to this place. The next time you have a doubt, a fear, a slight second guess, promise me you'll cast them out. Cast them out, slip on your shoes with the broken soles and loose stitching and just take a running jump, jump over the fence and run through the grass... because you can! because life is too short to live with an empty photo album, to live with a box of memories with only a birth certificate inside....Fill it with shells from your favourite beach. Fill it with a memento of remembrance from the unforgettable night with a new friend. Fill it with keepsakes and reminders.
The wish i would never make is for a life of regrets and of just being 'content' ..be Happy! be excited! dare to dare and dare to dream! Say what you want to say and go where you want to go, because when we take that leap...we end up somewhere we have never been before, a new circumstance, a new dilemma, a new challenge. a new opportunity. And as time goes on....just our existence proves we've made the right decision. There is no negative consequence to spontaneity. our time lines are thin and we are living in the present. don't hold back...there is nowhere to go but forward. Follow your nose, Follow your feet...Follow your heart.

Promise me you will.

Growth

Can anyone tell me why we were put here on this Earth? This beautiful place of ice-capped mountains and deep blue oceans teeming with life. Only one of Earth's species has gained sentience and they are capable of great achievements, great kindness, great artistic beauty but also capable of great atrocities. And when these atrocities occur, when that being full of sentience discards the world around them, discards not only the beauty of the snow-capped mountains and deep blue oceans...but the beauty inside of them.

When you pick at the stitches and seams of the carnal mind, the thoughts and emotions you tried so hard to conceal and forget, spill out around you. For some the spilling never stops, as the world slowly revolves, history repeats itself and with every occurrence, these memories and feelings bury themselves deeper and deeper into the fabric of who we are until eventually, we drown.

We fall so deep into the ocean that IS this world, that is media, conformity, temptation. But when you've already picked at those stitches, believe me, they'll make themselves at home. turn on the taps...and the next thing you know...you're treading water, struggling to keep your head above the surface. just to breathe is a gift, But through worldly means...we can take even that away ourselves.

So when we're treading water and gasping for breathe, running purely on the instinct to survive that we all possess, Granted... you'll survive, but for how long? If your arms and legs are bound, how long could you survive on your own? even at its extremity there are many who feel this to be much more reality than a pretentious analogy conjured by a lonely blogger with too much time on his hands. I for one sympathise all too well with those who feel that they can no longer reach that lifeline, those that have been dragged by the current so far that they can no longer see the shore.

But from this there is a lesson to be learned, Granted a lesson that i still have not learned, and will continue struggling to do so, but a lesson to be learned none the less. A lesson to change, to humble yourself to those with outstretched hands. A lesson to stop kicking and screaming and allow them to carry you. Those of you with a religious background,...i don't need to tell you who you should turn to, who it is NEVER too late to turn too, this is amongst those lessons i am trying to learn for myself. but when you're barely floating, when there is no ladder back...you must ask! you must beg and plead for a lifeline. Beg for a map, a light, a rope, all that you'll need. you may not want to, you may feel you cannot, you may have lost the desire to change at all, but there will come a time when you will have nowhere else to turn. plead for help now while you still can. its not a weakness. its a strength. its Growth.

Is it worth it?

There are those who look at themselves and are not content. Those who wish they looked like someone else, thought like someone else, acted like someone else. But Why? For some to live a day...or a lifetime... in someone elses shoes is a chance to aesthetically fit the mould, to please the carnal state of the onlooking world. But for others, just a second in those perfect well-stitched shoes is a chance to become what they always dreamed..."Normal." There are things in this world that you simply cannot be, that you cannot do. There are things in this world that if ever discovered or explored, the fate of that life will no longer shine as bright as it had once done. In a simpler time. In a brighter, happier time.
For some the exploration has already begun, mapped out, co-ordinates marked and are making good time. But where are they going? These people are heading to a place where they can live out their wildest dreams, where just for a second, they can be loved. just to be happy and to feel what we all want to feel. For some there is an image painted so clear, a soft spoken picture where the warmth cannot be shunned, where the light can barely stay within the frame, the black and white, making it so clear to see the clouded imagery of personal happiness, Yet so clear to themselves, the world will never see. For those who carry their 'accepted' title will never understand.
I have previously spoken of the instance where when every fibre of a persons being defies all that is eternally good, and pure, what are they to do? if you had to live every day, hiding and shading that warm, soft spoken image from the world, every day numbing yourself so you can never feel, because you know you never will...How long would you want to live?
The answer to this question hasn't and never will change. Let the whole world move while standing still, and thats exactly it, Stand still. learn to live for the moment, to be happy in the now, to be content with the people surrounding you, and the person inside of you to smile for that very second. because in that very second, nothing else matters. Because you cannot change the present, but you can re-write your future from the thoughts and actions you carry out at this very moment. At 00:58am i am content in this instant, for what i have, not what i want. for the worldy good i can do at this moment. For all i can do to become the brightest star in my own sky. Rather than hoping, dreaming and wishing of a place where i can be happy in this carnal state...i dream that living the ideal, living this colder, darker life that the one that could have been or living the "normal" can lead me to true happiness. to be happy forever. Isn't that worth it?

Light

The greater number of our very own superior population will live life by the rules which made us so in the first place... the instinct of selfishness, personal gain and victory. We are Alpha and Omega, we can create and destroy anything we desire. And in all things accompanied by the undying personal trait buried deep in all of us to mindlessly glide through life with the exhaustive disregard of human acquaintance, companionship and influence in order to float from A to B.
Build, Destroy and Gain...The rotton philosophy of our earth. Regardless of our aim or our destination, there is one sole event that will alter the individual journey of each of us... The accidental and sometimes serendipitous introduction to the people we meet along the way. The souls with whom we commune at our darkest and brightest moments, allowing the advice, opinions, and at times the simple viewing of a persons qualities and values to determine a decision in our own world.
There will most undoubtedly come a time when the abundant burdens of our own handcrafted oppressions will force us into the darkest cavity of the human mind, the lightless corners in our subconcious we never dreamed of dwelling, even with the aid of Earths foul, forceful hand.
If love is the Light of Christ, where would you rather be? But when one has fallen so immersed in the shadowed depression. where can you turn? when the lights are off, where do you step?
There is only one thing my lowly words can suggest to overcome the cavernous obstacle before you when this harrowing event will occur. Seek out that light, in each of us, every soul, every creature, every living organism that has and will ever take but one step on this earth contains within them that light, Seek out that light and in turn, shine that light. Never stop. The light that when used correctly can glow so radiently, reaching and irradicating the depths of human doubt. only through those we meet, those we hold on to, those exmaples we hold so dear. Only through the souls we come to meet and know can we bask in the light, when you turn your back to sun, you stand in your own shadow. Face the warmth of Creation head on. and in turn, radiate it unto others, unto those who are at the edge, silently peering into thier own shadows, you may never know, but you may never know if your light could have saved them if they just had the chance to see it.



"Friends come and go, but for the rare few you should hold on" - Baz Luherman

Hiding in Dark Corners

Maybe its my longing for a more perfect world in relation to the light through mine own eyes, where i can manafacture a more pleasing environment armed with the man made to capture beauty at its present... but ironically through its imperfections inherited through mans hand, its flaws and defects capture a more beautiful scene than nature had intended.
Maybe it lies in my desire to hide in the fabricated and artificial aesthetic. To create and pause for eternity the image more pleasing than that to the eye through the lense i hold in my hand. My journey begins here to capture that refined picture of what could be rather than what is, through mine own influence to create and design, to imagine and re-design. Wish me luck as i continue to learn and grow to a better understanding of changing the already perfect. The infinate beauty of life.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/wesley-thomas/

For The Greater Good?

When all you are......When each concentrated particle of your unabridged being defies all nature, when your deepest unpublished thoughts and emotions venture beyond the realms of all you believe in, all you've known, all your heart and soul can even dare to comprehend. When your solemn desire goes against all that you know is good, against all sense of immortal bliss, what do you do? what should you do?
The generic collective of the uneducated and daydreaming world will all tell you the same archetypal, matter-of-course answer. They'll tell you "just be yourself", "no regrets" "be who you are".
Do not hang onto these words for too long, neglect to attend the unveiling of thier meaning, because simply, they're wrong.
When the goodness of your belief defies all comprehendable knowledge, when through the fog of the worlds goodly possessions you see one thing, one aim, one goal. You must do all that is within your capabilities intelligence to reach it, but when so involved? when every fibre of your being is tangled in the fabric of reasons why it is unattainble, beyond the reach of your outstretch fingertips there is only one end result, one thing you can do.........Change.
My message, tho tangible and admittedly somewhat pretentious is simple and should clearly be understood. If you wish to love, live, laugh and exist in a manner against spiritual tradition.....Dont! Using respectfuly every last drop, bar none of determination and willpower is the sacrifice bestowed upon you to perform and without reserve the least you could do. A life of loneliness is the least you could do. A life of seclusion is the least you could do. if you truly crave to reach the height rquirement to eventually enter into true happiness, this IS the least you could do.
Believe me, i join in falling in line and taking up arms with those of you who share this calling to overcome and undertake.......Because that's what it will take.

The Family: My Proclamation

Family. The people we are sent here to be raised by, the sculptors of our future, of ourselves, of everything we are and will become. the ones we are sealed to, pre-planned and pre-destined. those we "chose" to become our protector, benefactor, friend. The guides weve been given on our path of personal development and growth.
Although......What were you thinking!? what were we all thinking? when calculating pro's and con's what was our focus? what source were we given during this "test" to help us mould and perfect our individual decisions from?. The evidence of who these people were to become, who they are, what they were, who they would have been.....or who they truly are in thier hearts....in which thier soul lies. When the decay of the world gives up the battle, when theres nothing left, stripped bare of agency, there lies the truth of a persons being. when the pureness of white blinds our view of emotion, throught the veil, then will we see who these people truly are? From that moment did we make our decision?
As this question may be merely trivial to some, think of those who may sincerely consider this thought, those who find the task to obtain happiness in the home a daunting mountain simply not worth climbing, that they may have seen crumble one too many times. those who when surrounded by family, have no-one to turn to, no-one to confide in, no-one to delve into the deepest domain of emotion and trust. these are the people who ask this question.
One thing we all fail to realise is that your parents are not yor parents, your father is not your father. your father/mother/brother/sister are all simply the flickering, faded lights that remain of the beacon they once were, and may one day live to become. Like moths to a flame the beacons you so eagerly left your perfect expanse to be in the prescence of... your family. these people, as all of us also, have been victims to the benumbed world that awaits just beyond your front door, subject to the choices of others who scar and create the ripples in the waters of our own indivudual lives, that sooner or later will reach our shores or the tip of our tongue to continue on that vicious circle.
For myself i find my happiness and my domains reached when in the prescence of friends, far and near. until the time comes when divine reason allows me to obtain the chance to meet these people, my family, unmasked and untainted, the immaculte beings i came here in search of who i have not yet found. Until then i live in and through the companions that i followed my feet to find, my only examples, my representations of all i can become, My friends.

A New Years Resolution.

2010 . . . So much anticipation and excitement for this numerical advance in time, that so many desperately hold onto for a new beginning, a clean slate, hoping that stating this number as present will lead to an increase of willpower, determination and self belief. Things that should never have been forgotton and never be prolonged.
Amongst my thoughts of personal traits and abilities to change and develop i came to the conclusion of one minor detail......what's the point? The realisation came to me that if a person cannot control thier actions or emotions for the remaining 364 days of the year, what supernatural force conjured on the 1st of January gives them the motivation to do so? As the human race we live day by day, week by week and despite the number written on your bank statements, till reciepts or in the corner of your computer screen we will always be subject to animal instinct, desire, greed, jelousy no number or figure of recorded time can change that, no year is "new" year. Same timeline, same slow, inferior hosts to the souls we possess.
To make the concious decision to change ones self, or qualities in that person is a choice that need not wait for a date in time, a pin pointed split second where the universe pauses and just for a moment, everything is pure, clean and perfect. Where there's no going back. Growth has no patience and if ignored, the opportunity will pass. before habit and the tempation to wait draw near, make the change. Wether it be mentally, spiritually or that of the world, 12 O'Clock december 31st is not the time to do so, now is the time, now is always the time, even now. . . . or now!
My New Years Resolution is to turn from making one. to have a resolution always in heart. 2010 will not bring happiness, it will not be a perfect year full of friendship, of laughter. History repeats itself, and we as a people make mistakes, we WILL fall, in one way or another, the one thing we can control is how quickly we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue to follow and believe in your new state of mind. Remember why you made these choices, always remember your inspiration. your goal.
I pray that i too can do the same.

Enjoy "2010".... see you at the finish line.