Saturday, 3 April 2010

Is it worth it?

There are those who look at themselves and are not content. Those who wish they looked like someone else, thought like someone else, acted like someone else. But Why? For some to live a day...or a lifetime... in someone elses shoes is a chance to aesthetically fit the mould, to please the carnal state of the onlooking world. But for others, just a second in those perfect well-stitched shoes is a chance to become what they always dreamed..."Normal." There are things in this world that you simply cannot be, that you cannot do. There are things in this world that if ever discovered or explored, the fate of that life will no longer shine as bright as it had once done. In a simpler time. In a brighter, happier time.
For some the exploration has already begun, mapped out, co-ordinates marked and are making good time. But where are they going? These people are heading to a place where they can live out their wildest dreams, where just for a second, they can be loved. just to be happy and to feel what we all want to feel. For some there is an image painted so clear, a soft spoken picture where the warmth cannot be shunned, where the light can barely stay within the frame, the black and white, making it so clear to see the clouded imagery of personal happiness, Yet so clear to themselves, the world will never see. For those who carry their 'accepted' title will never understand.
I have previously spoken of the instance where when every fibre of a persons being defies all that is eternally good, and pure, what are they to do? if you had to live every day, hiding and shading that warm, soft spoken image from the world, every day numbing yourself so you can never feel, because you know you never will...How long would you want to live?
The answer to this question hasn't and never will change. Let the whole world move while standing still, and thats exactly it, Stand still. learn to live for the moment, to be happy in the now, to be content with the people surrounding you, and the person inside of you to smile for that very second. because in that very second, nothing else matters. Because you cannot change the present, but you can re-write your future from the thoughts and actions you carry out at this very moment. At 00:58am i am content in this instant, for what i have, not what i want. for the worldy good i can do at this moment. For all i can do to become the brightest star in my own sky. Rather than hoping, dreaming and wishing of a place where i can be happy in this carnal state...i dream that living the ideal, living this colder, darker life that the one that could have been or living the "normal" can lead me to true happiness. to be happy forever. Isn't that worth it?

1 comment:

Layla said...

I struggle alot with this. There are things in my life that I can not change and I wish I could. I find myself comparing myself to other and wishing that I had their really sucks. It's a hard lesson for me to learn.